So, just now, I logged into facebook for a hot 2.5 seconds because I was bored/procrastinating. As soon as I get on there, I see that two of my friends from freshman year (of college) got engaged sometime within the past couple days. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for them and all, but I can’t help but be a little sad. I’m not tryna get married ANY time soon; however, it would be nice to be with someone who wants to be with you just as much as you want to be with them. No games, no guessing, no cheating, no bull. Just love. Is it that hard?
Another aspect of this that makes me kinda sad is the fact that they’re white. I can list the white couples I know from high school and college who have gotten engaged or married in the past 4 years. The black ones? Not so much. Off the top of my head, I know one black couple who’s been together for 2+ years and hasn’t been on and off. And they’re not engaged (that I know of). I see so many black girls having babies but not staying with their baby daddies or having babies and people don’t know who the baby daddy is. I understand having privacy, but at the same time, if I accidentally get pregnant *knock on wood* it’s gonna be by whoever I’m with, not some mystery man.
But anyways, my point is, why is it that white people are getting engaged/married left and right, but black people seem to be missing the boat? Are all the statistics about more black men in jail than college true? Are all the good ones taken, especially by white girls, or gay? Women in general are taught that we need a man to give value to our lives, and we, as black women, are told that we should be happy for what black men we have. We should “cuff” the ones that seem good since they’re the only good men left. We should stay with them even though they may cheat on us, lie to us, use us, abuse us. When we finally wake up and realize that we deserve better, we’re afraid to leave because we’ve been taught that we won’t be able to find better. I find myself looking at my current situation and wondering if I’m settling for less than I deserve. And I’m honestly not sure. That’s the great thing about advice. You can always give advice to everybody but yourself. I guess only time will tell.