Musings of a young black weirdo

This in-between stage

It’s funny how the things you want and the things you need are sometimes so intertwined that you can’t tell the difference. But just because you can’t tell the difference doesn’t mean the universe can’t. I always pictured myself moving really far away after graduation and never coming back to Tennessee or Kentucky. I thought I was gonna go to the east coast and start living my life in some amazing apartment in DC or Baltimore or Philly or some other huge city. But where am I? At home. In po-dunk Tennessee with my sister and the dog. If you would have asked me a year ago, I would have had a job lined up and my life would have begun the day after graduation. The closer it got to graduation, though, the more I realized that I want to stay closer to home. I don’t necessarily want to stay in BG or Nashville, but I want to be close enough to be able to come home more than just on Christmas and Easter. One thing I’ve realized in the past month or so is that being around people I love is more important than being able to say I’m in Cool Big City X.

This whole semester, I’ve been worried about whether or not I was going to get a job. The closer it got to May 14th, the more and more freaked out I got. But now that graduation has come and gone and the hype of it all has worn off, I finally have the chance to slow down and pull myself together again, and I’m thankful for it. The past four years, I’ve been moving on super speed. Sometimes I look back and hate that I didn’t spend more time just relaxing in school. What’s done is done, though, and if I would have been more laid-back then, I wouldn’t be able to appreciate now. I finally get to sleep in, read books and magazines, blog [!], and catch up with family and friends.

The universe has a way of lining everything up perfectly, too. There’s a job I’ve been interviewing for in Ft. Knox, KY that I really really want, but originally, it was supposed to start in June, which means I wouldn’t have been able to work the summer job I have lined up. I was really conflicted because I didn’t know which one to pick for a long time. Turns out, the job got pushed back to August, and I’m able to do both 🙂 I’m convinced that it’s meant to be for me to get this job. But I won’t hear anything officially until mid-July, so pray for me in the meantime 🙂

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