Musings of a young black weirdo

Posts tagged ‘bitter’

Ladies, let’s be real here.

I will NEVER understand why someone will have a perfectly good man or woman who treats them well and go and mess it up. I’m not talking about people who cheat or do shady stuff in general. There are plenty of people that talk about you every day. I’m talking about the people who are the first to brag about their relationships and how great their boyfriends/girlfriends are but then take advantage of, ignore, or are just horrible to them. I know a handful of young ladies who have good boyfriends right now. These young men will wine, dine, and take good care of their women. These men will give their women any and everything if the could, and they are giving 100% of themselves to their relationships (and they’re cute on top of that!). These are the men for whom women search for years.

I know you’re probably thinking “dang, if I had a man like that, I would do everything for him!” [Insert neck roll, lip smack, “mmhmm,” or other stereotypical “sista girl” behavior here. I won’t tell anybody.] The sad thing is, some women have these men and are constantly picking fights, nagging, or just being rude to them. For what?! What did he do to make you do that to him? I’m no expert on men, but I’m 99% sure a man doesn’t want Wendy Williams, his mother, or a Eva [from Deliver Us From Eva] as his girlfriend.

We women are good for expecting men to treat us a certain way [like a princess, queen, or other royal figure], but we don’t deserve anything from him. We earn his love, respect, and devotion. Your appearance may catch his eye, but your personality is what keeps him.

Ladies, our problem is that we don’t want to lose in the eternal power struggle that is man vs. woman. If we spend all of our time catering to a man, we are weak. But guess what? If we spend all our time rejecting a man’s love, we’ll be not only weak [strong people are able to accept love, compliments, and affection], but we’ll also drive the man away and be lonely. Now don’t get me wrong; you don’t have to tie his du-rag on, run a bubble bath, and cook dinner every night. You don’t even have to go buy him the new J’s when they come out or a G-Shock in every color in the rainbow. All you have to do is……… [wait for it…..]

Just love him. It’s that simple. Remember all those conversations yall had when you first got together about each other’s favorite movies and songs and colors? Why not go and buy him Transformers on DVD since he still hasn’t gotten around to buying it? Or make him a mix CD of his favorite singers/rappers? Or just listen to him if he wants to vent about his day. If he asks you to do something [within reason], do it for him. Without complaining, expecting something in return, or rolling your eyes. Is it really that hard to run by the store and get him some deodorant because he’s about to run out? You know you don’t want him stinking anyways. Just do it. Especially if he just took out YOUR trash at YOUR house, changed YOUR oil, or bought YOUR mama something for Mother’s Day. Don’t expect him to keep taking you out to eat if you can’t even do the simplest of things.

Of course, you don’t have to listen to me, but if your man just went to three stores looking for that specific type of ice cream and all you did was snatch it and walk away, don’t expect him to stay there getting played.

And men, this also applies the other way around. 🙂

Falling in love with love…

Just in case you live under a rock or you’ve never seen a calendar, it’s Valentines Day! Named after St. Valentine, a saint that had nothing to do with naked babies, candy, or secret admirers, Valentine’s Day has turned into a consumer powerhouse for the floral, greeting card, restaurant, and chocolate industries.

I’m kinda neutral about Valentine’s Day. I think it’s ridiculous to go all out to show those you love that you love them only once a year, but I can never be mad about a holiday that celebrates love in all forms. That’s why I don’t understand why some (definitely not all) single people get all sad/bitter every year when this day rolls around. I understand when people are sad about being single. Sometimes it sucks. But I don’t understand why people get mad at happy people in relationships. Like, really? They’re not the reason why you’re single. I’m willing to bet you’re single because you’re bitter.

Rodgers & Hammerstein’s Cinderella was on last night (the one with Brandy) and it got me thinking about bitter people. Cinderella is obviously a work of fiction, but we can learn a lot about it. Look at the stepsisters. They had a whole song dedicated to how hateful and bitter they are. And where did they end up at the end of the movie? On the other side of the royal gates while Cinderella and the prince lived happily ever after. The girl who had a genuine personality, forgiving spirit, and positive outlook on life is the one that fell in love and ended up better off than she could have ever imagined. Being hateful gets you nowhere in life.

Love doesn’t just mean romantic love. Look around and see your family, friends, pets, etc. and realize how truly loved you are. Some people are abandoned by the ones they love, and some are born into this world alone. Don’t take for granted something not everyone has. Love is all around you. If you choose to ignore that and be bitter and hateful today, then so be it. You don’t deserve the love you do have.

And most importantly, remember to give love. Whatever you give, you will receive tenfold. Spend your time giving love, and you won’t be solely focused on receiving it.

As for me, I’ll be spending Valentine’s Day with people who I truly love and who love me in return. Feliz San Valentin! 😀