So I’m watching Dance Moms (LOVE this show!) and the episode that’s on now is really interesting to me. I’ve seen it before, but this time, it struck a chord in me. The storyline is that one of the moms whose daughter quit Abby Lee’s studio actually has her own studio. So as Abby Lee’s dancers are getting ready to go to LA for a competition, so are they. The thing is, though, that the other studio’s strategy for winning the competition is based on what Abby Lee and her dancers are doing. She’s basically getting revenge on Abby Lee for playing her daughter to the left.
That’s the backstory. The reason why this got me thinking is because this mom is so determined to get revenge on Abby Lee that she goes out of her way to try to sabotage her. It’s almost comical, but it reeks of desperation and jealousy. I started thinking about life in general and how some people do this even though cameras don’t follow them around. How many times has someone gotten something you wanted (or thought you deserved), and you blamed the other person instead of looking at yourself? When we’re rejected or we lose something (or someone) we wanted, we almost never want to stop and think about how we can improve instead of spending all our time and energy dissecting how the other person won or why they got chosen.
Instead of considering that Abby Lee’s dancers practiced harder, were more flexible, had a natural gift, etc., this woman assumed that Abby Lee was cheating. Instead of training her dancers more or giving them harder dance routines, she looked for a sneaky way to try to win. And in the end, she lost a lot more than just the competition.
My point is that it’s always easy to blame the other person (He got the job because he’s white/a man!**/She got an A because she cheated on the tests! etc.) instead of looking at ourselves and giving the other person the benefit of the doubt. At the end of the day, the other person has nothing to do with why you didn’t get the job, grades, man/woman, shoes, car, etc. that you wanted. It all has to do with you. So next time you get rejected (rejection is inevitable; it happens to everyone), instead of dissecting why the other person got what you wanted, figure out why you didn’t get it and make changes and improvements accordingly.
**Disclaimer: I realize that racism and sexism (and the other -isms) are very real, and I don’t mean to downplay racism as it occurs in everyday life; however, let’s be real here. If a company/school/program won’t pick you because of your race, gender, religion, etc., then it’s probably a poisonous environment in which to work anyways. Consider it a blessing in disguise. 🙂