Musings of a young black weirdo

Posts tagged ‘sad’

Sad>>>Happy

Do you ever notice how we’re supposed to be happy all the time? It seems like everywhere we turn, there are messages (from friends/family, on TV, in magazines, on the internet, etc.) that tell us we’re supposed to be happy all the time. But what’s wrong with being sad? Sure, it’s not a “fun” emotion to have. People that have fun and enjoy life aren’t sad.

Think about it, though. Everyone knows that one person who’s never sad, angry, frustrated, irritated, or “blah” feeling about anything. That one person is always happy and always flashing a HUGE smile. I don’t know about anyone else, but I always wonder what that person’s like when someone eats their last *insert favorite comfort food here* or forgets to call them back. What’s that person like when they get dumped or stressed? Does she (it’s almost always a she) scream into her pillow? Does she just hold it in? How does she release all those negative emotions so that she can be super happy the next time you see her walking to class?

I don’t think it’s healthy to be happy all the time. I just don’t. “Happy” is a good emotion to have, don’t get me wrong, but how do you become happy without being sad? You wouldn’t know what happy was if there wasn’t a complete opposite with which to compare. I actually worry about that one person that’s always happy, because holding all those negative emotions in is unhealthy.

Think of negative emotions like being sick. If you try to hold in sneezes, coughs, and other bodily fluids, you’ll actually do more harm than good. Going to school/work when you’re sick doesn’t help you get any better either. You might get other people sick trying to be productive. When you let everything out and give yourself time to FULLY heal, you’ll emerge from your emotions a stronger person ready to get back to business as usual.

Basically, what I’m trying to say is: it’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to be mad at the world some days, to be stressed out about school/work, or to be irritated because you have 3 boxes of cereal and no milk. Don’t try to hold it in because it doesn’t help anyone. When you get bitten by a snake, you have to suck all the venom out, right?

**Disclaimer: While venting emotions is very healthy, please, PLEASE don’t put all your problems on facebook, twitter, myspace, etc. No one wants to read a constant pity parade. Find a good friend/therapist/1-800 number to confide in. :)**

The Pursuit of Happiness

Happiness is a choice. I think it’s kind of ridiculous that a lot of people somehow want happiness to be their default emotion. They want to wake up every morning and look like that guy from the “male enhancement” commercials. That’s not realistic. Some days, we’re gonna wake up happy because it’s payday, or because I got that “good morning” text, or because it’s still winter break. But happiness is conditional. Eventually, it won’t be payday, he’ll stop being so sweet every morning, and classes will start over. We’ll wake up once our happiness is over and go searching for something else to make us happy. And the cycle continues.

I don’t mean to sound cynical, but in most cases, things fuel our happiness. We think things will make us wake up every morning full of joy. Some people shop when they’re sad, and it makes them temporarily happy. Temporarily. Not permanently. I can’t think of one thing I own that’s had the power to make me happy.

Will Smith’s character in The Pursuit of Happyness wasn’t happy because he was making six figures. He was happy because he could provide for his family. I think that’s what his happyness was. That he didn’t have to see his child sleep on the streets anymore.

Some people think being happy is just not being sad or angry. Nobody wants to be sad. But sometimes, I think we have to experience those negative emotions in order to be happy. Have you ever been really sad/mad/frustrated but tried to act like you were happy? Usually your friends didn’t buy it. Your true emotions were written all over your face or played out in your actions. I think it’s ok to experience those negative emotions, as long as it’s not for too long. If we don’t work through what’s bothering us, how are we ever gonna get to the point where we’re happy?

I’m not really sure what makes us happy. Maybe we make ourselves happy. Even in the worst situations, if we choose to be happy, maybe we’ll actually be happy. Or maybe we have to truly be at peace with our lives and what’s going on all around us to be happy. I don’t know. All I know is happiness isn’t something you can buy at a store.