Musings of a young black weirdo

Posts tagged ‘unhealthy relationships’

… One leaf at a time.

I was at work today, and one of my co-workers asked me to cut a few dead leaves off a plant. Other than those two or three leaves, the plant was big and beautiful with thick, green leaves. I cut the dead leaves off the plant, and now it looks even healthier than it did before.

I tell that simple story to make a point: pruning the dead leaves off a plant doesn’t harm the plant; it helps the plant to thrive. Getting rid of people/things/situations that aren’t healthy for you may be uncomfortable or scary at first, because you are afraid to lose something that you have been accustomed to for so long, but at the end of the day, you will grow and thrive even more than if you were to continue to hold on to it.

Take the time to reflect on why that is. Are you afraid to let go because you are truly sad to see that person/thing/situation go, or is it because you don’t know who or what you’ll use to fill the void left by your friend/significant other/job/unhealthy lifestyle? Most likely, it’s the latter. The familiar, as unhealthy and dangerous as it may be, is comfortable, and we as humans love to be comfortable. We hate change, we hate different, and we hate anything that messes up our “normal,” even if our versions of normal include toxic people, toxic environments, or dangerous habits (binge drinking, drugs, overeating, compulsive shopping, etc.). Taking these things away mean creating a void in our lifestyles.

What will you use to fill that void? I can’t answer that question for you. What I can say is that you will find something to fill that void if you are truly ready to let go of negative people/things/situations and create more positivity in your life. Good luck 🙂

**This post is partially inspired by the book I’m currently reading: Bad Childhood Good Life: How to Blossom and Thrive in Spite of an Unhappy Childhood by Dr. Laura Schlessinger.**